Guest Author Jennifer Lee Rossman Visits with an Excerpt of Jack Jetstark’s Intergalactic Freak Show
I’m happy to welcome Jennifer Lee Rossman as a guest today! Jennifer’s book Jack Jetstark’s Intergalactic Freakshow is out from World Weaver Press today, and it sound awesome! The title alone is enticing, but read on and grab a copy of your own today.
Back cover summary: Jack Jetstark travels the universe to seek out the descendants of superpowered freaks created long ago by VesCorp scientists. The vibrations encoded in a particular song transform the members of Jack’s crew into a firebreather and an angel, a wildman and telepathic conjoined triplets, so they hide the truth of who they really are with the theatrics of a carnival.
The song plays every night through the receptor Jack carries with them, but when one night it has a different ending and their temporary powers become permanent, Jack believes the change is a signal from the woman who sent him on this quest in the first place. He and his freaks must navigate a universe at war to protect the love of his life.
But does the ruler of VesCorp really need protecting?
Excerpt:
Not a lot of money in the traveling carnival business anymore. Enough to make a living, but not like it used to be, back when fleets of enormous ships traveled the skies, bringing roller coasters and virtual reality machines to the residents of the universe. Sometimes it felt like we were the only ones out there, with our meager rides and food stalls offering unhealthy fried things on sticks; nothing special that couldn’t be found at any summer funfair on any planet, moon, or decently sized asteroid.
But people wanted to see the unusual, to be scared out of their wits by the alien creatures from the far-off places they could only dream of visiting. Therein lay the appeal of the sideshow, without which our profit margins would wither to nothing and the Rubeno and I would be stuck delivering cargo again. She was built for that kind of work. Me, not so much.
I much preferred life as a space carny. If nothing else, it was a more enjoyable way to make a buck, and far less lonely. In a world that shunned and ridiculed, our little piece of space was a welcoming reprieve. It was a home, it was a family.
Merulo warmed up dinner in an old food heater, setting chipped plates on the table while he attempted the impossible task of wrangling his unruly mop of black hair. The triplets eased their pained minds by chatting among themselves and watching game shows on a screen made mostly of static. And Lily sat in front of a lighted mirror, removing the heavy mascara that made her eyes pop while undoubtedly planning our route to the next planet in her brain that never slowed down.
She noticed me watching and arched a thin eyebrow. “What?”
“It’s just nice,” I said. “All of this. It isn’t like the world out there. It’s real.”
A small voice spoke from behind me. “It’s fake.” I turned to see the girl, the one with the bits of hay in her red braid, standing in the doorway. Shock and disillusionment cast shadows over her freckled face, the horrors of the show paling in comparison to this glimpse backstage.
“How did you get in here?” I demanded, not expecting any trouble but sure that I had locked up the carnival entrance as well as the stairwell leading to our living quarters.
“Is any of it real?”
I looked back at my crew, this time through her eyes; disturbing sights to say the least. A wildman in a robe and eyeglasses, a jovial grin on his chubby face. Conjoined triplets separated and sitting on opposite sides of the room, the sickly pallor having been wiped from their dark skin. An angel in jeans and a crocheted shawl, her beak transformed into a nose and her bare shoulders showing no sign of ever bearing wings.
Even I’d changed since the show, from the fiery barker who spouted words with ease to a broody slacker in a vest who’d couldn’t turn a phrase to save his life.
Not hard to understand her surprise. The only thing worse than seeing terrible, man-eating monsters was seeing them without their disguises, seeing that; deep down, they were only human, same as anyone else. I liked to keep that particular fact a secret, as people tended to pay much more to see anatomical anomalies than they did to see ordinary people, but I didn’t see a way out of this. She looked too smart to fall for anything I could pull out of thin air.
“Is it all fake?” she asked, stepping into the room.
I put my arm out to stop her. “I asked you first; how did you get in here?” I tried not to sound too upset, but the thought of someone trespassing on my ship, my secure ship where my people expected to be safe, infuriated me. If a mere girl could get on board without triggering the alarms, why not a crew of galactic pirates?
The girl retreated, her gaze flicking from one person to the next before landing on me. “I’m sorry. It’s just… it’s what I do.” She fiddled with her hands and tugged down the sleeves of her red and black jacket.
“What does that mean?” Lily asked, coming to my side and taking over the interrogation while the others watched with caution.
“It’ll be easier if I just show you.” The girl closed and locked the door behind her, then knelt to peer at the electronic lock. She placed her palm over the device and the lock clicked open a moment later. She pushed open the door and turned to us, the faintest hint of a smile on her lips.
“That’s impossible,” Theon said as he came to inspect the lock, sounding almost insulted at the breach in security. “I installed it myself. It only opens with our keycards.” He gave the girl a sideways glance, his dark, deep-set eyes narrowed. “They’re electronic.”
She shrugged, offering a wide grin that showed too many teeth. “So am I.”
Buy the book in paperback or ebook!
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
World Weaver Press
Jennifer Lee Rossman is an autistic and physically disabled sci-fi writer and editor. Her work has been featured in several anthologies, and she co-edited Love & Bubbles, a queer anthology of underwater romance. She blogs at jenniferleerossman.blogspot.com and tweets @JenLRossman
Read More2018 Work for Award Consideration
All the cool kids are doing it, so I suppose I should raise my hand from the shadows. It’s award nominations time!
I have only one work that I’m putting forth for consideration, in the short story category:
– “To This You Cling, With Jagged Fingernails” published in Fireside Magazine in July 2017.
The story has had some nice notice, including a review at the B&N SFF Blog that said, “Cato perfectly captures the bittersweet moment when you feel the magic of childhood slip away, a moment haunted by sadness, and by the loneliness you can feel in a crowd when you think no one else feels the same, or as deeply, as you.”
Quick Sip Reviews wrote a beautiful review, saying, “It’s a graceful read, though, careful and with a blush of defiance, a hope that maybe magic isn’t just for those too young to know better.”
The story is also included on the SFWA Nebula Reading List.
#SFWAPro
Read MoreBready or Not: Fruitcake Cookies
After Christmas last year, I scored a whole stack of fruitcake fruit containers for 80% off on the grocery clearance aisle. I already had recipes in mind for the fruit, and this is one of them.
These Fruitcake Cookies are essentially good old fashioned chewy oatmeal cookies with new mix-ins. Really good mix-ins.
Really, these are pretty and rustic cookies to behold. The red and green cherries look like sparkling jewels. I was surprised at how well the dates worked, too; they were meatier and softer than the usual raisins.
Plus, there’s a comfort food vibe around these cookies. They look like a variation of oatmeal cookies, but the different fruit gives them a distinct holiday vibe.
Of course, if you’re like me and use fruit snagged on a post-Christmas sale, that might be a holiday vibe in January or February. But hey, good cookies shouldn’t be confined to any one season.
And these are definitely good cookies.
Modified from Taste of Home Best Loved Cookies & Bars.
Bready or Not: Fruitcake Cookies
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 stick, softened
- 1/2 cup shortening
- 1/2 cup white sugar
- 1/2 cup brown sugar packed
- 1 egg
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
- 1 cup flaked coconut or shredded
- 1/2 cup dates chopped
- 1 1/2 cups fruitcake fruit mix about 12 ounces, with chopped red and green cherries, pineapple, etc
Instructions
- Preheat oven at 325-degrees. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper.
- In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter, shortening, and sugars. Add egg and vanilla.
- In a smaller bowl, sift together flour, baking soda, salt, and oats. Gradually mix into creamed ingredients. Stir in the coconut, dates, and other fruit.
- Use a tablespoon scoop to place dollops of dough on parchment paper, giving them space to spread. Bake for about 15 minutes. Set on rack to cool. Store cookies in a sealed container at room temperature.
- OM NOM NOM
Bready or Not: Caramel Apple Cookies
These Caramel Apple Cookies involve some extra work, but they are worth it. These are among the best cookies I have ever made. That’s saying something.
They also might involve some blood-letting. Let’s just say I will never again try to grate apple. I’m fine with finely dicing with a knife from now on.
But hey, as history and mythology has taught us, sometimes blood-letting comes to good purpose. These are chewy, sweet, soft apple cookies topped with caramel. If that’s not worth sacrifice, what is?
Use some variety of sweet-tart apple like you’d use for a pie. I used Braeburn, but Granny Smith and Jonathan are also good choices. 1 cup grated/diced is most of a medium apple.
These cookies reminded me of a fresh-made and frosted version of the Little Debbie’s Apple Delights that I loved loved loved as a kid. I have never before had a homemade cookie that was like this.
You may have some frosting leftover at the end; I had about 1/3 cup. Just look for random things you can frost like Golden Oreos, the cat, graham crackers, human flesh, etc. Trust me, you don’t want this apple-caramel frosting to go to waste.
Modified from Fall Baking 2016 by Better Homes & Gardens.
Bready or Not: Caramel Apple Cookies
Ingredients
Cookies:
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 stick, softened
- 1 1/4 cups brown sugar packed
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- sprinkle cloves
- sprinkle nutmeg
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1 egg room temperature
- 1/2 cup apple cider or juice
- 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 cup tart apple peeled and coarsely shredded or diced, most of a medium apple
Frosting:
- 1/2 cup brown sugar packed
- 3 Tablespoons unsalted butter
- 3 Tablespoons apple cider or juice
- 2 2/3 cups confectioners' sugar
Instructions
- Preheat oven at 350-degrees. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper.
- In a large bowl, beat butter until smooth, then add brown sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg, and salt. Continue to beat until fluffy, scraping bowl as needed.
- Beat in the egg and apple cider or juice. Slowly mix in flour. Fold in the apple bits last; dough will be very soft.
- Use a tablespoon scoop to space out dollops of dough on the parchment paper. Bake about 12 to 14 minutes, until golden brown; be careful not to under-bake, as the cookies need to be sturdy enough to be frosted. Completely cool cookies on wire rack.
- When the cookies are cool, begin making frosting on stovetop. On medium heat in small saucepan, stir together brown sugar, butter, and apple cider or juice. Heat until the brown sugar is dissolved. Gradually stir in the confectioners' sugar.
- Begin frosting cookies immediately; the back of a spoon works well. If the frosting in the pan begins to harden, stir in a few drops of hot water until it is smooth again.
- Store cookies in a sealed container at room temperature with wax paper between the layers.
- OM NOM NOM!
Bready or Not Original: Macadamia Nut Caramel Chip Blondies
This original recipe combines salted caramel chips (my new favorite ingredient) with my beloved macadamia nuts to make something innovative and amazing.
These Macadamia Nut Caramel Chip Blondies are soft, chewy, and nigh divine. Plus, if you’re in a hurry, they are fast to make and bake.
That’s exactly what I needed when I created this recipe. I had another recipe result in total disaster (it happens to us all!) and I needed another platter of baked goods, fast, for my husband to take to work…
… where these bars were declared a new kind of crack. All of the bars were scarfed up. Not bad for an emergency oh-crap-what-can-I-throw-together recipe.
If you need to sub another kind of nut in this recipe, I think pecans and walnuts would work especially well. I do suggest sticking with the balance of 1 cup white chocolate and 1 cup salted caramel chips, though.
Caramel chips are very strong–like butterscotch chips in that way. They are a great ingredient, but you don’t want to go overkill. Plus, this way you’ll still have half a bag for another recipe. Scroll back on Bready or Not for some suggestions!
Bready or Not Original: Macadamia Nut Caramel Chip Blondies
Ingredients
- 1 cup unsalted butter 2 sticks, softened
- 2 cups brown sugar packed
- 2 eggs room temperature
- 1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
- 1 teaspoon coarse sea salt
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup salted caramel chips
- 1 cup white chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup macadamia nuts chopped
Instructions
- Preheat oven at 350-degrees. Line a 9x13 baking pan with foil and apply nonstick spray or butter.
- In a large bowl, stir together the butter and brown sugar until fluffy and smooth. Add the eggs and vanilla.
- In a smaller bowl, sift together the flour, oats, salt, and baking powder. Gradually mix the dry ingredients into the wet. Stir in the two kinds of chips and macadamia nuts until just distributed.
- Smooth out the dough in the prepared pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the center passes the toothpick test. Cool completely before using the foil to life the contents from pan to slice on a cutting board.
- Store in a sealed container with parchment or wax paper between the layers.
- OM NOM NOM!
Bready or Not Original: Glazed Earl Grey Maple Gingerbread Sheet Cake
Let’s kick off the 2018 holiday season the right way: with cake! A Glazed Earl Grey Maple Gingerbread Sheet Cake, to be exact.
Earl Grey adds a lovely spice and kick that contrasts and complements the sweetness of maple. As you can see, tea flecks freckle the entire cake.
The cake is super-soft, moist, and cakey. I was amazed at how high it rose. It pretty much went to the top of my casserole dish.
The cake itself isn’t heavily sweet, which is why the thin layer of glaze is just what it needs. It provides a more potent sweet maple flavor.
This is a cake that pairs well with tea (Earl Grey, hot, Picard-style?) and also with coffee. Serve this to a crowd! There’s plenty of cake to go around.
Bready or Not Original: Glazed Earl Grey Maple Gingerbread Sheet Cake
Ingredients
Cake:
- 2 eggs
- 2 cups pure maple syrup
- 2 cups sour cream 16 ounce container
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 cube, melted
- 4 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 packets Earl Grey tea a heaping Tablespoon
- 2 teaspoons ground ginger
- 2 teaspoons baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
Glaze:
- 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter melted
- 2 cups confectioners' sugar
- 3/4 teaspoon maple flavor
- 2 Tablespoons + milk almond milk works
Instructions
- Preheat oven at 350-degrees. Line a 13x9 pan with aluminum foil and apply nonstick spray or butter.
- In a medium bowl, stir together the eggs, maple syrup, sour cream, vanilla, and butter. Set aside.
- In a large bowl, mix together the flour, Earl Grey tea, ginger, baking soda, and salt. Gradually stir in the egg mixture. Spread batter in the ready pan.
- Bake 45 to 50 minutes, until the middle passes the toothpick test. Cake will have risen a great deal. Cool in pan on wire rack for a few hours.
- Once the cake is room temperature, prepare the glaze. In a medium bowl, melt butter in microwave. Add confectioners' sugar, maple flavor, and two tablespoons milk. Stir until mixed and of spreadable thickness, adding more milk as necessary to loosen it or sugar to thicken.
- Spread glaze atop cake. To slice, lift up by foil and set on cutting board. Store slices in sealed container(s) at room temperature; keeps well for at least 2 days.
- OM NOM NOM!
